LETTER: Local Mom writes a letter to her son, who committed suicide in 2010


[EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is a Letter to the Editor, written by a Reader. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Waterland Blog nor its staff:]

On September 28, 2010 my son killed himself. On March 29 it would have been his 34th birthday. If you have contemplated suicide please insert your family’s names below and realize the impact that decision would have on them and call 1-800-273-8255 for help. If you are a suicide survivor, take comfort in the fact that you are not walking this path alone. Below is my birthday letter to him:

– Carri Litowitz

Dear Dale,

This will be your fifth birthday in Heaven; it’s hard to believe it seems like just yesterday the police were knocking on my door informing me that you killed yourself. I think of you every day. There is so much I wish I could tell you. Lexi turns eight this month, she is struggling with your death, and Kelli has her in counseling. Miley recognizes you in pictures but she was too young to really remember you too much she just knows that you are “daddy”. I made a book this year of your life and gave one to everyone for Christmas. It made everyone cry ☹. That was certainly not my intention. I have come to believe it is the mothers that have lost a child that are the strongest women of all. As a side note, Lexi, Miley and Kelli love the book. Lexi sleeps with it beside her on her bedside table. Your brother, Nathan has still not dealt with your death instead he turned to drugs. Yep, he is now addicted to heroin. I did get him in rehab and he did quite well while in the program. He is working full time now but is struggling with his addiction; his diabetes is out of control. I have learned something through all of this; you cannot save someone from himself or herself. Hopefully he will save himself, if not he will be joining you. Your sister Theresa cries everyday about you and is sad all the time. Brianne and Marisa miss you a lot but have an easier time than Nathan and Theresa do. Your grandma, Uncle Larry and Aunt Sherri can’t talk about you without crying. As for me I cry quite often but only when I am alone as I have to be the rock for everyone else. I tell anyone who will listen about your suicide, as I am trying change the stigma that comes with it…one person at a time. I do not let your final act define you OR my life. I am a suicide survivor and I am blessed with a life that is filled with love, laughter and joy despite all the struggles your suicide left behind. I only wish you were still here to share this amazing life. I take comfort in the fact that you are in heaven and there is no pain there. Happy Birthday, I love you and miss you!

Until we meet again,
Mom

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Comments

3 Responses to “LETTER: Local Mom writes a letter to her son, who committed suicide in 2010”
  1. BirchCreek says:

    I am so sorry about your loss.
    I pray you have peace in your heart.
    As a parent I can understand that your loss in incomprehensible.
    Stay strong.

    Rate: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

  2. Heidi says:

    Kyle Juhl committed suicide at the age of 24 on 9/16/2014. He is loved and missed by all of his family members and wonderful friends. He struggled with addiction but that was not why he died. He died because he was sleep deprived and made a snap decision over a fight with his girlfriend. Every day I think of him and still think wonder what it would be like for him to be married and have children but I will never see that. I know that he is at peace and I take comfort knowing that I don’t have to worry about him. Life is too short. By taking your own life it effects everyone. So PLEASE call the 800 number so you can get help and know that life is worth living.

    Rate: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

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