Wherein the author starts out quickly then hits the Sugar Wall.
By Mike Smith
TodayishalloweensoI’vebeeneatingcandyalldayandI’mfeelingprettyenergetic. Eatingcandymakesmereallyhavealotofnervousenergy. Itisthetypeofenergythatdoesn’treallyfeelthatgood. ItisthetypeofenergythatI’vehearddescribedasasugarhigh. Theysaythatyouwilleventuallycome“down”.
ButatthemomentI’mfeelinglikeIcouldpossiblymakeplanstodosomethingimportantatthreea.m. It’sagoodthingtoo. Thekidsstartedcomingthroughtheneighborhoodataboutthreethirty. SoIguessthebestthingtodoistosay:Iamreadyforthestreamoflittletykestostartcomingforthedoor. Ilovethesoundoftheknock,knock,trickortreatfromthemuffledvoicesbehindtheirKatyPerrymasks. IrememberasakidwedidnotcallitHalloween. Wecalledittrickortreat. Likeeverykidweranaroundtheneighborhoodwithoursacksforcandy. Ateitallandstayedupreallate.
Then… we… came… crashing… down.
You see when you eat too much candy, your system gets overwhelmed with the sugar. You run around with what seems like limitless energy. But soon your body starts to eliminate the sugar and you get what is called the sugar low. But of course you all know this. But today I forgot. I ate too much candy and suddenly I’m feeling mighty low. Half way through this article and I’m falling, I’m falling. I am hitting the sugar wall. The big rock candy mountain. The zone. The really sleepy part of eating too much candy.
As much as I like candy, I am going to propose something new, hopefully healthy, and maybe a bit more interesting for Halloween.
What if when the kids came to the door with their little bags and buckets we could give them, say, stock tips? They would get a bit of worldly wisdom, without the stomach ache. It could actually make them some money in the future. What kid doesn’t want to feel grown-up?
Another gift that could maybe go into the trick-or-treat bag is a coupon for a free engine tune-up for their parents. That could actually bring a bit of self-esteem to a youngster who is looking for a way to contribute to the family well-being. I know I would have been proud to bring home this type of bacon. Plus, being car-related it fits in nicely with this column by the Marine View Driver.
Speaking of bacon… It is a favorite of most people. Lately, too, doctors and nutritionists have relaxed their bug-a-boo’s about unhealthy diets. Bacon is not longer our adversary. It is one of our new friends. And, it gives off a lovely aroma from inside any trick-or-treat bag.
Maybe for the very adventurous, a possible trick-or-treat gift could be a set of white wall tires. These could really come in handy. Plus, if they did not need them they could sell them.
How about a member ship to a CrossFit club? It’s hip, it’s trendy, it’s social and get the kids exercising. Plus, they participate in some friendly competition. Oh, and they burn off empty calories. Whoa, this is getting good. I am starting to see the social ramifications. And implications for the blog, since one of our columnists runs a CrossFit studio.
Perhaps a small rodent. Parakeet or any other exotic pet. Neighbors could have lotteries or competition for gifts. “This year the Smiths are giving away an awesome trip to one lucky trick-or-treater.” One of my neighbors could give foot massages. Newspapers could find a new market for classified ads. Trick-or-treat lottery. “A list of mystery gifts and a special gift for moms are on the list this year for Halloween.”
“The Andersons are offering a free puppy to one lucky trick-or-treater this year.” The puppy could help by eating all the candy in the bag.
You have to admit, with this type of list as inspiration, Trick or Treat could become very interesting.
I know it is all a bit ridiculous. But, think of this. Americans for many decades have been going door to door on Halloween, at night, in the rain if you live in the Seattle area, when it is cold (I can actually remember coming home with a bag of frozen candy), which has the ultimate effect of my first couple of paragraphs. There are no long term benefits of eating a bunch of candy. After a while it all starts to taste the same. But because it is sugar,
I you can’t stop. I, er, you just have to keep eating it. You think each piece will taste better. Or at least you think each piece will satisfy some sort of desire, or sweet tooth or whatever they call it. I’ve heard it’s a sort of addiction.
All I can say is that I wish I’d have gotten some stock tips when I was ten years old.
Right now all I have is a stomach ache.
Oops! gotta go, the doorbell just rang again. Hmm, I wonder if these kids would like some of my take-out Chinese food?