[EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is a Letter to the Editor, written by a verified resident. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Waterland Blog, nor its staff:]
I’m writing in response to a recent Letter to the Editor from former City of Des Moines Councilman and my former partner and abuser, Anthony Martinelli. Mr. Martinelli and I met in the beautiful city of Des Moines through a mutual friend when we were both teenagers. He and I began dating in November 2005 and our relationship ended, after many tumultuous years, in September 2011. While I am not here to air his dirty laundry, I need to clarify some of the items he addressed in his letter that are misleading or outright untrue.
In his letter, Mr. Martinelli placed blame on at least eight other people or entities while taking zero responsibility for any wrongdoing in this situation. He displayed multiple trademarks of abusers that are noted on the Power and Control Wheel (highly regarded by The National Domestic Violence Hotline as a frame of reference for describing abuse) such as Intimidation, Coercion and Threats, and Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming. This demonstrates to me that his mandatory domestic violence and parenting classes were ineffective and he did not take these lessons seriously.
Mr. Martinelli fails to mention that while Des Moines Prosecutor Tara Vaughn did end up filing charges and representing the city in this case, this was because other jurisdictions’ prosecutors did not want to be involved when the defendant was a sitting councilperson. Per the Clarification Statement from the City of Des Moines Prosecutor’s Office, “[These] allegations were investigated by the Tukwila Police Department and the diversion agreement was negotiated by an independent prosecutor.” Ms. Vaughn did everything in her power to ensure that there were no conflicts of interest, but also took necessary steps to try to protect Mr. Martinelli’s victims – his partner and their son, from imminent danger. Mr. Martinelli denies being on probation, which is also in direct contradiction of the actual agreement made (36 months of monitored probation with possibility of reduction to 24 months). He was required to give up his firearm, which was used toward his partner in an alleged abusive episode, and charges will only be dropped at the end of his probationary period if he complies with all of the terms of the agreement.
Related to the comments about the Seattle Times article, for which I was interviewed along with another of Mr. Martinelli’s former partners, Cydney Moore (of Burien) – Ms. Moore, Mr. Martinelli, and I worked together on a political campaign in 2010 and 2011 and had become close friends. When I ended our relationship, I cut ties with everyone involved in that part of my life to recover from the trauma caused by his abuse, including Ms. Moore. She and I had not spoken in over 10 years and only reconnected after I learned of his arrest and reached out to her. As you can imagine, hearing that your abuser has been arrested on counts of domestic violence after a decade can be upsetting, and I took action to learn whether this was continued or escalated behavior on Mr. Martinellli’s part. Once Ms. Moore and I began talking, we were both able to confirm that he had, in fact, abused and mistreated both of us in a multitude of ways.
While I cannot speak to his current partner’s statements, I can speak to my own experience, which is this – Mr. Martinelli manipulated and controlled me, isolated me from family and friends, and gaslit me. I was so exhausted from the emotional turmoil at his hands that I couldn’t make decisions or think clearly. It took years of work to recover after I was able to get out. Based on the allegations of this case and my personal experience, Mr. Martinelli appears to be escalating in his abusive behavior. I hope that one day his partner realizes the danger he poses and gets herself and her child out of his grasp. My goal was never to hurt her, but only to hope she would hear my story and realize this is a continuing pattern that may only get worse. When you’re being abused, it is incredibly difficult to see your abuser for who they are. You’re brainwashed into defending and protecting them at all costs, because you don’t believe you are worth being treated with the love and respect that you deserve. The cost of leaving is often dire.
I’ll sign off with a few last comments. I love the city of Des Moines. It was my home for nearly 20 years. I grew up there. It pains me that Mr. Martinelli’s manipulative tactics got him into local politics. His threats for “potential litigation that may be forthcoming” are inflated and a waste of his time. I felt compelled to come forward with my story originally to bolster the City’s case against him. As someone who has experienced abuse, I choose to believe victims. The stress and disruption to my life that this has caused was only worth it because we had hoped for an outcome that provided Mr. Martinelli the help he needs. I will not sit in silence while he acts like he’s done nothing wrong. Victims deserve to have a voice, and I hope I can be an example to others of survival and endurance through incredibly challenging circumstances.
If you or someone you know needs help escaping domestic abuse, please visit thehotline.org or call 1.800.799.7233, (TTY) 1.800.787.3224.
In solidarity,
Kayla Wolfe
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Kayla you prove here that you’re not being honest. Another prosecutor in SeaTac did take the case and is the one who worked out the deal and it only went back to Des Moines because he stepped down from his position and Anthony’s attorney was willing to allow it to go back to Des Moines because they said they would sign the deal without altering it. She never should have filed the charges considering she technically worked for Mr. Martinelli.
You also fail to state that you and Anthony separated after he left you for Cydney Moore (while you were on a “break”), which enraged you and has led to you having an over decade long grudge. You see this as your opporturtunity for revenge. Sad.
Thank you for your statement, Ms. Wolfe. If nothing else I’m relieved that CM Martinelli resigned. His statements have been inconsistent and at times misleading, and I agree that he’s refused accountability and cast blame far and wide. The lengths gone to defend him are legitimately concerning. I hope you are safe and well, and that anyone else affected by DV and IPV find the safety and support they deserve.
Other prosecutors refused to press charges just like King County refused to issue a warrant not because he was a sitting council member but because there was an extreme lack of evidence which led to Des Moines to do it themselves despite it being a conflict of interest because Martinelli is there political opponent. The prosecutor in Des Moines knew it was a conflict of interest which is why she recused herself and sent it to Seatac. Doing so after she filed the charges is a complete dereliction of duty and provable conflict of interest.
Once it went to SeaTac they quickly agreed to a deal including no guilt admission and charges being dropped because they understood that there was no real evidence for any of the charges.
Other prosecutors refused to press charges just like King County refused to issue a warrant not because he was a sitting council member but because there was an extreme lack of evidence which led to Des Moines to do it themselves despite it being a conflict of interest because Martinelli is there political opponent. The prosecutor in Des Moines knew it was a conflict of interest which is why she recused herself and sent it to Seatac. Doing so after she filed the charges is a complete dereliction of duty and provable conflict of interest.
Once it went to SeaTac they quickly agreed to a deal including no guilt admission and charges being dropped because they understood that there was no real evidence for any of the charges.
considering this all happens when you were teenagers and in your own words he didn’t physically abused you it was just emotional I have to believe Ambers comment that this is all based on a long long grudge. If Anthony cheated on you you have every reason to be upset but going this far publicly over a decade later is beyond wacky.
Amber, please be careful. I have been that brainwashed and it took years to escape his control. I know it’s terrifying and you don’t feel like you have other options, but there are resources for you. He is dangerous. You deserve to be safe and cared for.
Thank you, Turtle. It’s taken a long time, but I am well.
Susan, you clearly have not endured emotional abuse. It can be just as harmful, if not even more so, than physical abuse. I only came forward when I found that his behavior is a pattern. And as I mentioned, I’m not here to air dirty laundry, so I won’t be discussing the specifics of his abuse. I’m not “wacky”, I am refusing to be silenced. Not believing victims is the reason abuse is perpetuated. It’s toxic. Please reconsider your stance.
The title of this article is I do believe not correct. Youre not disputing Martinelli’s claims of corruption at the city other than to make a not correct comment about no other prosecutor being willing to take the case. From the sounds of it you were cheated on by Anthony as a teenager and are now seeking vengeance many years later by attaching yourself to a situation that has nothing to do with you. Calling Anthony’s partner brainwashed is so insulting and backwards. Believe victims is the mantra unless the alleged victim has proof that it didn’t happen then she’s brainwashed and lying?
I get the vibe Anthony hasn’t always been a perfect guy and none of us are but this is really preposterous and we all need to move on.
“Amber, please be careful. I have been that brainwashed and it took years to escape his control. I know it’s terrifying and you don’t feel like you have other options, but there are resources for you. He is dangerous. You deserve to be safe and cared for.”
well damn… attacking Amber like this and ignoring everything she said and essentially implying she has no agency at all is low. they have a family together. your defensive response that by the way ignores the meat of everything she was saying is hella telling.
Why is Martinelli’s alleged victim out defending him? This is all so weird when you look at the the public information about his arrest, how long he sat in jail before getting bail, his behavior on camera (council meetings) and his court date, his refusal to step down and deal with his legal issues and his spin on the judges orders. I’m going to assume that the reason he stepped down was that he wasn’t able to live in the city of Des Moines and had to live in Spanaway which would make him ineligible to serve on council not being a resident and all. Public records state he was evicted for not paying months of rent, the very thing he tried to fight for while on council. I’m just glad this stain is no longer part of our city. There’s too much to do and fix to have that guy manipulating anything. However it was or wasn’t handled by the city of DM, nothing smells right about this guy and anything he touches. Council Members and people in general just shouldn’t encounter these things. Most people don’t unless there’s aspects of them or their lives putting them in these situations.
Thank you, Kayla, for your bravery in speaking out on behalf of all the victims. I read the police report, and anyone who pistol whips a mother in front of her one year old is a threat to society. Martinelli is a monster who is in total denial which is not a good sign. He only agreed to the 3 year probation before going to trial because his attorney advised him he would surely be found guilty before any jury (based upon all the factual evidence). He claims he’d resigned out of consideration for his family, but the truth is ALL his former supporters have abandoned him. By his own admission, he was not about to resign his Council seat because everyone believed his side of the story. After the facts of the case became known, nobody believes in him now. To protect his most recent victim, a restraining order was enforced causing him to go live with his mother in Spanaway. It’s sad to know he once served in public office. The voters will make sure that doesn’t happen again.